May 29, 2023, In Divorce
At WHITMARSH FAMILY LAW, PC, our Los Angeles family law attorney knows what a difficult decision it is to pursue a divorce in California — especially when the spouses share minor children.
One of the most challenging aspects for both parents is to break the news to their kids. While parents know their children better than we do, our Los Angeles County family lawyers have a few tips on how to approach the conversation, so you can prepare accordingly.
Create a Plan and Follow Through as a Team
When you and your spouse are planning to tell your children your plans to divorce, pick a day or evening when things are quiet. Do not attempt to squeeze the news in on the way home from a soccer game, or while everyone is going in separate directions.
Carve out a time when everyone can be together, and all electronics, homework, and other distractions are out of the way, so together you can have a respectful, age-appropriate conversation with your children.
When delivering the message:
- Keep it simple and avoid tension, so the kids do not become nervous.
- Avoid blaming each other — or anything else — for the dissolution.
- Focus on being direct and understanding.
- Be honest with your kids that changes will happen, even if you are still unsure of the details.
- Allow your kids to ask questions, express their anxieties, and address both honestly.
- Reiterate that the parent-child relationships will remain intact, that they are incredibly loved, and that we— both the parents and the children — are all going to get through this together.
Your kids need to know this is an adult decision — not one that was impacted by the children. Kids will always worry that they were the source of the dissolution, because they do not have the mental or emotional capacity to understand the complexities of divorce.
Reassure your kids that both parents will remain involved in their day-to-day lives, so they know that your consistent support and affection are unwavering.
If possible, going forward, be sure to include the other parent in activities, decision-making processes, and supportive conversations, so the kids know you are working in tandem to ensure the divorce is not the focus — they are.
Contact Our Divorce Attorneys in Los Angeles, California Today
If you have questions about how your divorce will impact your children, and the best way to approach these significant changes, contact our skilled family law attorneys in Los Angeles County at WHITMARSH FAMILY LAW, PC by calling (310) 552-3505 to schedule a free consultation today. We can help provide solutions that produce results.
